I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
