You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
