She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Randomize
