OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
