We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Randomize
