Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
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