that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
