What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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