I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize
