I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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