those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize
