as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
it glows. i had to have it.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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