So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
