I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Randomize
