oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
