Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
