so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
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