Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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