took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
