I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
