I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Randomize
