Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Randomize
