I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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