if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
