I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Randomize
