My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I wish you could order shots online.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
