i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
A bitchslap is in order.
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