tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
