Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
