One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
