Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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