I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
