i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Randomize
