I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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