whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
