Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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