Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
