it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Randomize
