How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Randomize
