i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
