You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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