i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Randomize
