you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
