So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
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