Umm I'm too high to move.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Randomize
