yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
