...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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