He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Randomize
