Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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