im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
