i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
