I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
