4 words: hood of his car
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I take back everything I said about communal showers
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Randomize
