I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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