id be glad to
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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