walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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