so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
you win again, gameday.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
