Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
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