nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Randomize
