Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Randomize
