Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Drake has all the answers
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
